“I am a professional vocalist with a long history of being a powerhouse singer – and yet, for most of my adult life, I couldn’t speak what was really in my heart. If I had to have a tough conversation with anyone, my blood pressure would go through the roof. So I ran from those situations. I was like a tiny, scared mouse.
It was only when I performed that I felt alive and good in my own skin. So I began to write lyrics that allowed me to express myself, and it took the heaviness away from my heart. Over time, though, I began to drink for courage when I wasn’t performing. Alcohol began to call the shots. So did the anxiety I felt, which left me afraid to leave my own house.
Finally, I asked for help. And in the process, I learned to expect to be seen and heard with respect by those that I loved. I overcame my alcohol addiction and left my abusive husband and a 10-year marriage behind me. And still I rose. I found my inner warrior queen. And still I rise. I’m 45 years old and nowhere near done.
Now I look back on the timeline of my life and see clearly that my slow, downward spiral began the first time I silenced my own voice. And this is why I do the work I do now: I’ve been sober for 13 years sober and I love it. I design my own days as a mentor to women who want to strengthen their voice in their art and in their business. I have a darling 5-year old daughter who is the beat of my heart. I perform on my own terms and make more money now than I ever have doing what I love to do.
I feel so much gratitude and joy every night before I go to sleep, because I’m doing what I came here to do. I’m using my gifts in ways that serve others profoundly. And I find strength in knowing that I will never let myself be mistreated ever again, because I love myself too much to let that happen.”
Carolan, Creator – True Voice Freedom and Biz Academy