“Know when you’re getting burned by your own internal drive, and notice if there’s a lighter way that you can approach the work that you’re doing. Because sometimes that easing back or creating space that you’re doing, some of those very counterintuitive things—the things you don’t expect—are what’s going to bring your business to the next level.”
—Greg Faxon, Business Growth Coach
Transcript, edited for reading:
Nikki Groom: Welcome to Movement Makers, the podcast for business leaders and entrepreneurs like you who aren’t interested in doing business as usual, but who want to have an impact on the lives of those around you. You want your life to matter. You want your work to matter. You want your words to leave an indelible impression on those who hear them and you’re ready to show up, to speak up and to do whatever it takes to change the status quo.
My guest this week, Greg Faxon; Greg is a business growth coach who helps entrepreneurs unleash their full potential. He is the author of “Don’t Let The Fear Win: How To Get Out Of Your Own Way And Grow your Business… Fast.” A former All-American wrestler and word class Spartan racer, Greg combines his love of peak performance with his gift for helping clients radically increase the impact and income of their businesses. I first met Greg at Jonathan Fields’s Camp GLP last summer and he had such an impact on me, I couldn’t wait to show him with all of you.
Hi Greg, how are you doing?
Greg: Doing great, Nikki. Thanks for having me.
Nikki: Good, well thank you so much for joining us. Whereabouts are you joining us from today?
Greg: I’m in West Virginia in the U.S., so my partner and my fiancé and I have a place on the Shenandoah River. We have an 80 acre farm property, so I’m calling you from my office right above my kitchen and ready to dive in with you.
Nikki: Very nice. I think there’s a story behind that farmhouse, isn’t there? I was listening to a podcast interview with you and Julia Hanlon. She mentioned how you still live in really different circumstances and that it took a big leap of faith for you to move where you are now, would you tell us a little bit about that journey, maybe the outer journey, but also the inner journey as I know that’s kind of your thing?
Greg: Sure. We moved from D.C. We moved from a studio apartment and I worked from. It’s a studio, so the same room that we went to sleep in and so now it’s really nice to have a door that I can close. Yeah, we made the transition just over a year ago now from that studio in D.C. out to the country and it’s really different. I think I totally underestimated what a big shift it would be just psychologically to go to where there was more space even though my work didn’t change substantially or anything like that.
Yeah, there was a moment of a freak out. It was a test for us to resettle our bearings and it was a place where she had grown up visiting where we live now. It was much more of a natural shift for her, but, I think that we underestimated how much environment can just impact the inner game. It can impact what’s going on inside as we execute at work and in our lives.
Nikki: Definitely, I actually currently live in Bristol, in Rhode Island and I’m a block away from the ocean. It’s super peaceful. Yeah, I feel like in a much more Zen place in my life than I did when I lived in a city. Yeah, I totally resonate with that. I feel like it’s kind of an obvious place to start, but for those who don’t yet know you, who are listening, could you tell us a little bit about who you are, what your story is, because you started as a wrestler, didn’t you? How did you go from being coached to coaching other people?
Greg: Well, said. Yeah. My whole life, I’ve been into what does it take to become a champion or what does it take to become the best in the world at what you do? For me, I think that fascination really started in high school as wrestler and learning what a big gap there could be from one performance to the next that didn’t necessarily rely on just if I had gotten stronger or I’ve learned new moves, but just recognizing how much of it was determined by mindset. That’s when I started to discover a lot of the work that I do now just helping people on their inner games and goes to the outer game, the strategies, the tactics of what we do in business.
When I first started wrestling, I got my butt kicked for awhile and eventually was able to be an All-American Wrestler by my senior year. I did a little bit in college and at that point moved onto, into my first job. I realized right away that it wasn’t for me, I think. If you’re an entrepreneur, you just can tell if you need that autonomy. I wasn’t a great employee, I knew how to work hard when I was passionate about it, but it was a problem that I couldn’t determine what projects I got to work on. Truly, for me, there’s no other way of operating than to being able to choose the impact that I want to have, the people that I make into heroes and all of that.
I went through to the job and then went into my own business. It started off very much as a general coaching business and training business. I was helping people with their personal development. I just realized that I just resonated so much with people like me who are entrepreneurs. Those are the people who are taking action and taking what we talked about and running with it because their livelihood, their legacy depended on it. It’s been different phases. I think that just through the line or the thread that ties it together is just becoming obsessed with what, how does this perform at a high level or how does it perform in a low level and what are the ways where we can stack the deck in our favor so that we’re always at the top of our game?
Nikki: Yeah, I love how you talk about that. I think that you told this. I first met you and connected with you at Jonathan Fields’s Camp GLP Event back in August where you were talking about mastering the inner game of entrepreneurship. Yeah, I definitely want to dig into that. In some books, I think that you had said that most people spend like 90% of their time on the outer game, the strategy and the tactics and they ignore the inner game. In my notes, I wrote, “Until it’s so painful that they can’t ignore it and that we need to flip that.”
I really love that whole concept, but I’d love to circle back to that. Just going back to your story because I feel like there’s a really interesting anecdote that you talk about when you were in an office might be doing this mind numbing task in your computer and your coworker walked past and said something like, “Don’t go to the boardroom yet,” so talk to me some more about that?
Greg: Yeah. Sure. It’s an anecdote that I tell a lot. It’s funny because every time my fiancé, Emma, will listen to an interview, she’s like, “I feel like I’ve heard this a thousand times.” You got to share this stuff that really was an inflection point for you. For me, this is one of those moments where it was probably a month in to my first job out of college and I was just moving a number from one Excel spreadsheet to another Excel spreadsheet and just doing quantitative stuff. One of the partners walked by my office and he said, “Hey, how’s it going?” I just was totally honest with him. I said, “Hey, I feel really brain dead moving a number from one Excel spreadsheet to the next.”
Yeah, he just said, exactly what you just said, which made a huge impression once he said, “You can’t go to the boardroom right away.” Even though he said it casually to me it really sunk into my bones so it wasn’t just at a cognitive level of what’s the impact I wanted to make. It really sunk in. Well, it’s not this. I don’t know what it is quite yet, but it’s definitely not doing this. I’m not serving the people I want. I’m not doing it in a way that’s really aligned with my gifts. I kind of felt like anybody could what I was doing.
That was the catalyst for me that set my path as an entrepreneur and eight months after or seven months after that I was out of the job into my business. It’s funny when you become an entrepreneur, I’m sure you’ve noticed is, Nikki, people ask you how you did it or kind of say it like, “I can never have the balls to do that.”
Greg: If they want to do it, but they’re stuck in their job. Usually, my response is just when it gets painful enough, you will. Which is a joke, but seriously, it’s not worth it to you to confront that fear. When it gets painful enough and when you decide it’s important enough, then you’ll go do it. Yeah, that was the moment for me when I said … It was funny, because that job I had was a great job. It was with a great company. I work with great people. I knew that it wasn’t just, “Go find another job.” It was, “Well, this isn’t how I operate in my core genius zone, it’s not here.”
Nikki: Yeah. I love how you talk about that, because I feel like when we do back on our journeys, our stories that there are those key transitional points, something that someone said or something that happened or something just shifted for you. It was like, after that, I knew that I couldn’t just keep doing what I was doing. I knew that something had to change. I like how you talk about things becoming so painful that you can’t ignore them and you have to do something. You have to take action. I remember having a conversation with my old boss.
Again, great company, they really looked after me. Just sitting there in his office and being like, I couldn’t explain why I wanted to leave other to say in a way that was convincing to him, other than to say, “I can’t. Not do this.” I had to know. I had to get out from behind that desk and challenge myself by trying to see if I could run my own business. Yeah, I think some people can’t really understand it, but until you’re really feeling that squeeze, you’re probably not going to understand, because you’re not going to want to change anything.
Greg: I totally agree.
Nikki: Yeah. You have a new book, of course that I want to talk about. “Don’t Let the Fear Win: How to Get Out of Your Own Way and Grow Your Business … Fast.” Did you make onto the Amazon Best Seller list, I think I saw that you did?
Greg: It depends on how you categorize it. We were ranked number nine for startups.
Greg: The right people, it’s all about getting the right people to see it and those were my people.
Nikki: It just launched as well. We’ve got to nudge it up there a bit more.
Nikki:Yeah, can you tell me what prompted you to write this book in the first place?
Greg:Sure, yeah. I think when you write a book, a big piece of it is just you’re looking to create something that you wish you had, but never found. For me, I hadn’t found something that combined this athletic perspective. A lot of the metaphors I use come from my experience as a wrestler and then transition that high performance state into entrepreneurship. If you think about it, really, they’re like the two types of people who have their mindset most dialed in are either professional athletes or coaches or either like high-level entrepreneurs. Those are the people who really focus on the mindset piece.
For me, I think I just wanted to write something, because I was used to having times where I would feel really confident about my business and I feel like I was performing really well. Then I would have times where I was totally out of the creative flow and I had to figure out what was going on. This book is a very compact, 66 pages, a very compact version of the key strategies that you need to stay in the up parts of the rollercoaster of entrepreneurship and not keep dipping down into the lows.
Nikki: Yeah, I really loved it. I find it so readable and I’m glad that I’m not the only one by the way, because when it comes to business books I normally get a quarter of the way through then I’m like, “All right, I’m good. I’ve got the gist.” I get distracted by the next thing.
Greg: Yeah, the stuff is too long.
Greg: A lot of books could just be articles. They’ll actually, they’ll have to be as we think about writing books in the future and creating content is just going to have to be shorter, because you’re competing with too much.
Nikki: Yeah, I totally agree. I like the format as well, because it really reminded me of one of Steven Pressfield’s books. The way that it is super easy to read and the concepts are really easy to digest and enlightening too. I was curious, actually, has Steven been a big influence on you?
Greg: Yes, it’s interesting, because I came across “The War of Art” midway through the concepts I was developing. They’re real parallels. I mentioned Pressfield in my book, as he describes a lot of stuff as resistance and then I’ve built upon that and said, “Okay, creative avoidance, which is one of my big concepts is I wanted the symptoms or I wanted the weapons of resistance that uses to kind of throw you off your game when you’re feeling scared to do something.”
Nikki: Yes, I definitely want to talk about that. First of all, though, yes, so let’s elaborate more on how the book breaks down, because you have three sections, the opponent, the champion and the controllables. Could you briefly take us through each one and what it means to you?
Greg: Sure, I set up this game of growing your business as a wrestling match. All right, if this is a game, which I think that’s one of the best frames that you can approach business in, is as a game. Then there’s an opponent and the opponent from most entrepreneurs isn’t their competitors in their industry. It’s not how much they know even. It’s usually fear. Fear is the thing that stops most people from reaching their potential because the thing that mattered to us and the things that we want are typically the scariest.
Sometimes it sucks that it works out that way, that the things that are close to our heart also inspire the most fear. It’s also a great indicator, because it gives you a compass to work on what’s most important to you. Before this call, we’re talking about how you’re doing a little pivot. I’m sure part of that is scary, but also you know that it’s leading you to the impact that you want to make.
Nikki: Yes, exactly.
Greg: Yes. Opponent is fear. Then, yeah, that’s pretty straightforward and I think a lot of entrepreneurs know that that’s a big obstacle. If fear is your biggest obstacle, then how does that show up? In the first part, I re-dive into your opponent which is fear and how I say it, it is a term I use called creative avoidance, which is not procrastination where you’re consciously know or you’re drifting off and doing something else. That’s not something I found with most high achievers. Creative avoidance is when there’s something subconscious, there’s a fear that’s affecting you.
You might not even know what you’re avoiding, because you’re staying so busy with peripheral tasks that it don’t really impact your bottom line, doing little design stuff and tweeting logos instead of, for example, following up with a client, a potential client. That’s really what holds our business back. Creative avoidance is one of the big moves that fear uses to throw you off your game. It’s trying to keep you safe. It’s like a little part of you that wants to stay safe, because entrepreneurship thing is pretty scary.
Then in the second period, I had to talk about what are the traits of a champion entrepreneur. Okay, how many do I hit? It’s a diagnostic assessment for how am I doing here in terms of my performance as an entrepreneur, how dialed in is my mindset right now? Then in the third section, we talk about some of the how-to strategies to really performing your peak in entrepreneur to grow your business and to dance with that fear that comes up. It’s going to keep coming up as long as we’re in business for ourselves.
Nikki: Yeah, there’s a lot there. We were talking about you condense it down so well and just each concept is so like, “Yes, that’s so true.” For example, what you were saying about fear. I think this is a line from the book. It’s either a line from the book was something I wrote down from the workshop that you gave at Camp GLP. What you’re doing doesn’t scare you; it’s probably not very valuable. I was like, “I love that.” Let’s talk a little bit about how people normally deal with fear, because I think that your approach is really refreshing and a totally different way of handling it?
Greg: Sure, yes. Well, right now, I guess most people push down fear. When we feel it, our intuitive got a reaction, because we know it sometimes gets in the way of us, of fear and what we want is to ignore it, try to fight with it and push it down. What I advocate, actually just giving it attention for a second, because our feelings and emotions will naturally dissipate if we give it some time to process. Becoming comfortable with feeling that fear and listening to what it has to say, but not necessarily obeying it. Not necessarily copping out or opting out of what you want to do.
I use the analogy of there’s a little you and a big you. In all of us there’s the child part of us who is the four year old version, has no business running an enterprise and then there’s big you who’s strong and confident and knows how to be productive. A lot of times, they’re at war and so what I advocate is little you is always going to be in there and it gets triggered by different things, so it’s good to know that you’re carrying little you around and instead of fighting with it kind of putting it in the closet when it makes noise, learning how to love that part of you and then move forward stronger. Yeah, that’s the short answer to your question on how to … but that’s what I want call, dance with fear.
Greg: There’s another thing I was going to say, but I totally blanked on it so I guess that’s what’s going on now.
Nikki:Well, yeah. I actually do want to come back to that, because I’m jumping around a little bit because the exercise that you had us do in the workshop was really powerful and I definitely want to revisit with you, because it could be really useful to everyone that’s listening. Try to go back to the whole idea of creative avoidance. That was such a huge epiphany moment for me, because I so often have full days crammed full of “work,” answering emails, organizing this, doing that, doing the other and not doing the work that I really want to be doing.
It drives me mad and I get to the end of the day. I’m like, “I just didn’t have time.” That’s such an easy excuse to fall back on like, “Well, I didn’t have time. I had to do this other stuff.” I love how you’re idea of creative avoidance is that actually by doing all those things, you’re enabling yourself not to do the thing that really matters.
Greg: Sure, yeah. If you feel frenetic, better to just stop and do nothing than to knock all … the useless to-do off your list. I’m a big advocate of creating space, creating slack. If you’re someone who is naturally, is a high achiever and is going to be cramming a lot into here today, because only in that space can you actually see the next step. Again, just using you as an example, you’re going through a bit a pivot or a rebrand, you can’t about that stuff if you’re stuck in how to make the original idea work and you just keep trying through to-do’s.
By giving yourself some space whether it’s at a large scale, it could be at a retreat or at an event or just on a small scale just taking your dog for a walk. Sitting down with some tea and just saying what really matters today, what really matters this year and how am I going to execute on that. It’s so important to just take that stuff back.
Nikki: Yes, definitely and that was another huge breakthrough for me, because I think you said in the book, “It’s only when you slow down that you’re forced to confront the bold actions that would have the biggest impact on your business.” My counterintuitive prescription for most entrepreneurs who want to grow their business is to do less. I was like, “Yes, because I feel like I should always be doing more and that just makes me feel more and more stressed and overwhelmed. When I slow right down, when I take that step back, then it becomes really clear what I should prioritize next.” I absolutely love that.
I think it was in the workshop as well. You talked about how important structure to our days. Something that I’ve been trying to do since Camp GLP is not only meditate everyday, which I was doing every now and again before. That in it of itself has been a complete game changer for me. I have a routine. I don’t do it everyday, I try to, but my goal is to meditate, walk the dog and then write a thousand words. The days that I do those three things and I start the day that way, my whole day just feels completely different. Everything goes so much smoother. Actually, my inclination in the past has been to just dive right into the client work and get this done and get that done. Then I feel like crap at the end of the day, because I haven’t been very intentional with things.
Nikki: Would you talk to me some more about that idea of structuring our days, how you structure your day and why really think that that’s so key?
Greg: Sure. Yeah, I’m a huge advocate of the morning ritual, which is why you just mentioned that. I think it’s one of the best ways to create space and really create a great foundation for your day. Now, you got to know your energy levels, you got to know when your energy peaks and when you should be things. Maybe you’re a night owl and should be doing things at night. It’s so important to go with our natural energy flows and sometimes people will say, “Nikki, I don’t like creating habits and rituals, because it feels constraining to me. It feels like it’s confining my creativity and I just like to go in with a blank slate for the day.” When I say that, for some people that’s fine, but we got to realize we already have habits and routines that we’re executing.
They’re just unconscious. We haven’t intentionally set them. Most of us, notice how you brush your teeth this morning or tonight whenever you’re listening to this. Most people brush their teeth in the exact same way every time and it’s because our brain wants to conserve energy and it wants to conserve willpower. It just creates mental heuristics and schemas to just do things the same. Better, to set up deliberately the structures for yourself and once that are really going to support you. I’ve noticed, I got to be honest, I’m always advocating more in ritual. In the last couple of weeks, there’s been one or two days where I’ve slept a little bit later. I haven’t done it. It’s pretty rare for me. I got to say that’s bad news. It just demolished my day.
I really noticed the difference. You mentioned, you noticed that it runs a lot better when you do it. For me, it’s the default. I really notice how drop in performance if I don’t have some routine. I’ve noticed that the three things that you want to really build a rock solid morning ritual, is you want to engage your physical self, you want to engage your mental, intellectual self and you want engage your emotional or spiritual self. You had all three of those. The meditation was your emotional spiritual self where you’re getting grounded. Then you had to walk with a dog, which I found walks in the morning are great to just get you out of that funk and out of that tiredness and then writing.
If you can hit all those three points before noon, ideally, then you’re good to go. My goal is always to have the bulk of my real work done by noon. We’re doing this interview at 2:00 p.m. my time, which I think is fine. For me, I always advocate, do your creative, difficult, painful or maybe enjoyable task, but the once that really suck a lot of energy and decision making power early on after your ritual. In the afternoon schedule, your meetings or schedule, your group calls or whatever it is. Then by the time I had dinner, I’m just done. I just want to watch House with my fiancé and just relax.
Nikki: House is a good show.
Greg: It’s a good show. It’s good to have one … A lot of, we’re both in the personal involvement space and I know a lot of people rail against watching TV. As long as you do it intentionally, watch whatever the hell you want. If something is comforting and you work your butt off everyday, I think some people need to give themselves permission to do some of those things that might not be a conventionally prescribed things, but are actually supportive for them and as long as you do it with intention.
Nikki: I agree. I actually am a closet fan of several very mindless TV shows which I probably don’t want to admit to here. I think what I like about them is that it does let my brain just switch off and just be entertained. It does give me that chance just to not think for a change, which I like.
Nikki: I wanted to talk a little bit more about meditating just because I’m all about it right now. I hope that that’s going to continue and it’s going to be a habit that I can sustain. There was a paragraph that was just, wow; it was so powerful in your book. Actually, in one of the earliest chapters, you talked about, as a freshman in high school you were this 103 pound kid and you were all jacked up on Rocky movies and rap music and nervous as hell.
“Fast forward to senior year just before my All-American match, you’d see me sitting on the side of a mat with my eyes closed listening to the sound of my breath meditating. That match is how I became a Purple, All-American.” It was giving goose bumps to read. How did that shift come about for you and how did you discover that that was quieting your mind in that way was really going to be a game changer for you?
Greg: Yeah, good question. I had the perception when I started off as an athlete. I think a lot of people started off their careers this way too. That more tension, more hustle and more attachment to an outcome. For example, in wrestling, it’s wanting to win and being attached to winning. The more psyched up we get, the better we’ll perform. If you’re in anything long enough, you’ll start to realize that that’s not true. Then in just kind of sports psych terms, there’s a bell-shaped curve. If you imagine on the y axis is performance and then the x axis is arousal. The word arousal just means how fired up you’re getting, how much it matters to you.
You’ll see it goes up at first so there’s a line that goes up and performance is increasing as you’re getting more and more fired up and aroused. Then it reaches a peak, which is great, that’s your peak performance state. Then what most people think is it just keeps going up. The more fired up I get, the better I’ll perform or the more I care about this launch going well the better it will work. What we’ve noticed is that it drops off, it goes right back down as arousal keeps increasing past a certain point. Your performance goes down. That was a huge insight for me as an athlete. It’s funny how you master one domain and you have to relearn the same lessons in the new domain.
Eventually, as an entrepreneur, I had to learn the same thing. I think when I’m aroused is I was just getting too amped up before matches and I would go in so tight that if the first move didn’t work, I just keep trying. It was like I had tunnel vision. I wasn’t open in my mind and was inflexible, the different possibilities that were popping just right in the moment. I was so focused on a certain result in a certain way of achieving it. For me, meditation first came in not as a way to increase my well-being, not as a way to get spiritually connected, but just as a way to perform better, because I needed to actually decrease some of that arousal and get a little bit more centered, grounded and calm in order to get back to my state of peak performance.
Nikki: I love that, yeah. I wonder if that leaves just quite nicely onto … I know you talk a lot about high intention, low attachment, would you explain what that is and talk a little bit to that?
Greg: Sure, I’m a bit obsessed with this concept. Now, I just made a video that I posted today about it. Okay, high intention, low attachment, I actually learned it at GLP, from someone who just stopped me and she phrased it a slightly different way. I’m forgetting name now, but she just mentioned, “Hey, it sounds like this is what you’re talking about.” She just gave this one mantra which is high intention, low attachment. This is what I wished I had had, basically my whole life, because where I kept getting blocked, whenever I didn’t get the results that I wanted in my life and now in my business.
The intention part, what high intention means is that you have a strong desire or hunger to accomplish a result. You’re really clear on where you’re going. You’re charting your own path and maybe you’re even visualizing getting the result and you’re really into achieving that thing. You want to make an impact for people. An attachment means how attached you are to that result. That usually means you feel like that result will complete you in some way. If you have a goal to get to six figures and you have high intention around it, that’s totally cool, that’s great.
If you’re attached to that or if I don’t make this launch or if I don’t get to six figures , I’m not good, I’m not fundamentally okay. That’s not how most of us, think about it consciously, but we’re acting that way. You might not have the perception that I’m whole either way and you know that logically, but emotionally, you don’t feel that way and you’re clinging to the result. We grasp and clutch at things sometimes; which makes us needy. There’s lots of different you can be. You can be low intention, low attachment or you’re kind of apathetic and you’re just wondering around and being pulled around in whatever life is giving you. You can be high intention, high attachment where you get that neediness.
If you go on a date with someone who has intention, high attachment, it usually feels like they need this relationship to work and it’s repelling. You can have low intention, high attachment, which is the worst place to be because that’s when you’re a victim. You don’t have any desire or intention. You’re not really creating your world intentionally. When things don’t go your way, you get pissed, because you’re highly attached to the results. That’s the most annoying type of person. It’s being the worst performance state.
High intention, low attachment; sometimes it throws people off at first, because they’re like, “Well, if I really want something aren’t I naturally going to be attached to that result.” I think what I had to realize was, “No, not necessarily,” because you can really want something. Then say, “I’m okay either way.” You can have a really strong desire, but also trust yourself enough and trust the people around you enough that whatever happens, your value as a human being is not going up and down with the money you make or when you get a client your value as a human doesn’t go up. When you lose money, it doesn’t go down.
When I won a wrestling match, my value as a person didn’t really go up, I mean it was cool that I won, but being able to let go of that attachment, which just comes from being grateful in the moment and acknowledging how much you already have, so that you’re coming from a place of being complete and then going back and getting after it and focusing on what you want.
Nikki: Yeah, I love that. I feel like so much of it is about the energy that we’re putting out there. Some of those scenarios that you talked about, I remember not that long ago, probably several months ago, having a conversation with someone. I really wanted to work with her, but at the same time I didn’t have much money in the bank at that time. I remember, we had this great conversation, but she was someone I would describe as maybe a soul, kind of like very spiritual and in touch with herself.
She was like, “I can’t really explain why, but I just think that now is not the right time for us.” I think probably what it was, is that I had a high attachment to the outcome and I was throwing off this desperate energy. Afterwards, that totally makes sense to me. I realized more than ever, how important it is to, yeah, when you first talked about the high intention, low attachment, I was like, “Yeah, that makes so much sense. It just completely shifts how you approached the work that you do.”
Greg: Yeah. For people listening to this, you might want to just start to notice what are the symptoms of high attachment, so when you’re becoming attached to something which we fall into as high achievers. What occurs? For me, I noticed I get headaches sometimes. If I’m really pursuing something, but I’m attached to a result, all of that tension will come up as a headache or I get a stomachache or something like that. If you’re really in touch with this stuff, you can realize before it’s too late or like, “Oh, maybe I’m grasping on a bit too hard to the result and I need to let go.”
You just might want to notice what is for you, because it’s really useful to know which zone you’re in at any given moment. It’s not like everyone is always a victim or everyone is always a champion or everyone is always needy or always apathetic. If you know, I have a four quadrant and I just posted on my blog of what each quadrant is, where it’s low attachment, high intention, whatever it is. That way you just know how to get back into that zone that you want beat or perform well.
Nikki: Yes, totally. I love that. Thank you for elaborating on that. One of the moments in the workshop and I kind of touched on this a little bit earlier that both surprised and delighted me was when you had us do a guided meditation effectively. When we took some time to really notice where the fear was showing up in our body. We had talked about fear earlier and our relationship with fear, and how to manage that fear and not mismanage it or not try and shut it down or ignore it. Would you talk us through what the exercise involved? It was just such a poignant for me, it really shifted something inside me, so I’d love to know how you develop that whether you use it for yourself and if you could just talk through what it involved?
Greg: Sure, yeah. I just want to clarify what you think is best. Do you want me to do the actual exercise or just describe to people how they would do it?
Nikki: If you would be open to it, I would actually love you to go through the exercise?
Greg: Yeah. We’ll just do an abbreviated version of it.
Greg: This will be a guided meditation guys, so if you’re driving or if you’re doing something else, it’s probably not, if you don’t have some quiet spot where you can just go chill for five minutes or so then just come back to this later. It’s not going to work that well. If you’re game, go ahead and close your eyes, get in a seated position, your spine erect. Let’s start to slow the whole system down, relax your eyes, relax your jaw and if you can start to bring your attention to your breath. You’re going in your nostrils and now, and if you feel your mind or just continuing to run that’s totally cool, just go ahead and amplify the breath a bit and now exhale.
I want you to bring to mind there’s something that brings up the nervous energy for you or butterflies, so it could be something you really want to have happen in your business or something that you’ve been avoiding that you know it would make a big difference if you didn’t. It could be even just a specific situation, maybe when you’re in an enrollment conversation or it could be outside of work in your relationships. Once you have that in your mind, notice what’s coming up for you and your body. Was there anywhere where there is a nervous energy or a tightness or a clenching or pins and needles?
There’s a clear for most people. Fear is going to come up in the center line of their bodies so it could be your stomach, it could be your solar plexus, it could be your chest or hard area, it could even kind of come up through your neck a bit. We so seldom take time to notice what’s going on in the basement for us. We spend a lot of time up in our heads, whatever that feeling that’s coming up, that’s little you. That’s kind of the kid part of you. That doesn’t always feel comfortable with the things you do as an entrepreneur or in your life. You might notice how it feels just to put your attention on that area without judging.
What does it feel like? Does it feel warm? Does it feel tight? Is that feeling changing? Has it moved around? Has it relaxed? Has it gotten stronger? If you’re noticing, it’s actually becoming more uncomfortable. That’s totally normal, because we don’t give it a lot of attention most of the time. The best way to view with this feeling is not what we usually do just to push it down or try to make it go away. The best thing you can do for it is to actually send us some good vibes and totally accept that it’s living there, you kind of could say to yourself without feeling welcome. Just as you bring your awareness to it … Nikki, you were going to say something?
Greg: It just says you bring your awareness to it. You’ll notice it starts to burn out like an oil lamp or if that’s just the flame that’s burning off the feeling. If you feel comfortable, you can even put your hand on that area where you feel the feelings if it’s on your chest or your stomach. Just ask that part of you, what do you need from me right in this moment and what do you want me to know. There’s a lot of wisdom in that part of you. You may have to pause the podcast.
Sometimes it can a long time, if nothing is changing right now that’s totally fine. What we’re learning to do is being with the feeling. Letting it start to process instead of letting it dictate our behavior from underneath the hood. If you need some more time with it, go ahead and take that time. If you already experienced some sort of shift, you might just notice how you feel now and start to come back when you’re ready. Open your eyes and shake your arms if you’d like. Nice deep breath and that’s how we do it.
Nikki: I absolutely love that. Greg, thank you so much for sharing that with us. I feel lucky, because that’s the second I’ve been through that with you and now I actually have it on tape so I can back in and revert back to it whenever I need to.
Nikki: Greg, what’s coming up for you? What have you got going on in the near future?
Greg: What’s going up for me? I’m feeling grateful. It was cool to be able to do that on a podcast.
Nikki: Awesome, that was really awesome.
Greg: Thanks for prompting that. It’s helpful for people to just have access to it whenever they want.
Nikki: Absolutely, yeah.
Greg: The key, guys is just resisting the urge to want to change it when it’s there or is this thing saying … For me, it rarely goes away, totally. For some people, the feeling will go away, as soon as they give attention to it. I even noticed if you have a headache, sometimes if you just focus on the feeling of the headache for second, it will go away. Your body just wanted you to acknowledge what was going on. The key is just getting better at not trying to fix it or change it. It’s just noticing how it’s feeling, sending some love to it. Just like if you had a little kid there and they were freaking out, you would just do the same thing. You need to say, “Hey, what’s going on? What do you need from me? What do you want me to know?” until the kid calm down. It’s the same thing with the little you.
Yeah, Nikki, that’s what coming up is gratitude and then what’s next? I don’t know. Right now, I’m mostly focused just helping people understand some of the lessons behind the book and getting that out there and trying to spread the word on this stuff. I came from a background that was such like a hustle-type, Gary V-type, not that Gary V is bad. He’s cool. He helps a lot of people, but just like a grind mentality for getting things done. I think that fire can be really useful if you know how to use it and if you know how to channel it. It can also totally consume you.
I’m just grateful to be able to spread the message to people. Know when you’re getting burned by your own internal drive and notice if there’s a lighter way that you can approach the work that you’re doing, because sometimes that easing back or creating space, some of those are very counterintuitive things. The things you don’t expect are what’s going to bring you business to the next level.
Nikki: Yes, absolutely. I can fully say Greg, that you have literally changed my relationship with fear forever. Just knowing that I can look to fear to see what it wants to tell me, will teach me and that’s just, yeah, it has honestly been life changing, business changing. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for sharing your insights with us and everyone you have to grab a copy of this book or at least download it to a Kindle. “Don’t Let the Fear Win: How To Get Out Of Your Own Way And Grow Your Business … Fast.” Greg, thank you so much, again. I really appreciate you and I’m so grateful for your time today.
Greg: You’re welcome. Thanks Nikki.
Nikki: All right.
That’s it from the Movement Makers Podcast this week. If you enjoyed this episode then please leave a review on iTunes and subscribe over so I can let you know about future episodes. In the meantime, I want to know how you’re making a difference at work or in your business. Be sure to tweet @nikkigroom and let me know.
- Camp GLP
- Greg Faxon on How To Unlock Your Core Brilliance interview with Julia Hanlon
- The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles book by Steven Pressfield
- High intention, low attachment: Greg’s Facebook Live video explaining this concept