We stood there, an entire church full of people, and watched her at the pulpit.
She owned that stage.
She delivered her message with so much punch and power and purpose that it was impossible to ignore…
We all hung on her every word.
She was a prophetess. A woman on a mission.
That woman? Was my mother…
A powerful woman. A woman with a voice who wasn’t afraid to use it.
I may not go to church anymore, but it’s clear the gist of what I absorbed from her back in those days stuck:
If you have a message, and you believe in it with all of your heart, then get out there and share it.
It’s probably also part of the reason why I’ve made that mission my life’s work:
Helping purpose-fueled movement makers have more of an impact by finding and shaping and sharing their message so that the right people hear it.
My mother taught me that if you have a voice, then you have to use it.
Of course, as a business owner, that’s easier said than done.
It’s not easy to have hundreds or thousands of eyes on you.
It’s not easy to find just the right words to say at just the right moment (which is what people expect from you, as a business leader).
And it’s not easy to articulate what you’re trying to say through a framework of empathy and compassion that makes people feel understood and inspired to take action.
But what if it was?
That’s actually one of my favorite questions to ask:
“What if it were easy?”
What if you could be seen and heard and understood as the leader you are without second guessing yourself, or worrying about whether or not you were saying the right thing?
I’ve learned to feel comfortable having more (and more) eyes on me, over the course of the last four or five years running my own business. And I’ve learned not to care so much about what people think about me, or whether the kids I went to high school with are reading my old blog posts.
But that doesn’t mean that I don’t ever feel anxious when I step up to my own, virtual pulpit and share my message with you.
And it doesn’t mean that I’m immune to the uncertainty that comes with becoming more visible, which is the very thing we at once crave and fear.
What it does mean is that I’ve learned three, indisputable truths:
01. You can’t control the outcome.
You can’t control how people react to your words. You can’t control the comments or the commentary. You can’t control that, so don’t even try.
What you can control is your attitude. What you can control is how you approach every opportunity to share your message – whether that’s through a Facebook Live video, or a blog post, or your Instagram Story – and the key to that is this:
High intention, low attachment.
My friend, coach Greg Faxon, talks about that in this Facebook video and it is life- (and business-) changing.
02. It’s not about the numbers. It’s about the lives you touch.
Whenever you find yourself scrutinizing how many people are unsubscribing, unfollowing, or refusing to click or sign up for your free training, shift your focus.
Remember the people who are subscribed, who do want to hear from you, and who continue to follow you, read your stuff, sign up and support you.
My friend, serial entrepreneur, Candita Clayton, always says “You only need 100 Super Fans.” And it’s true.
Where are they?
Who are they?
And how can you better serve them?
Check out this episode of Tara Gentile’s Profit. Power. Pursuit podcast, in which Chris Guillebeau talks about “the next big thing” being a focus on connecting more intentionally with smaller groups and going deeper, rather than broader.
03. Mastery takes time.
I’m the most impatient person I know. (Just ask my boyfriend, lol.)
I’d love to have figured everything out ten years ago, minimum.
But the reality is, success takes time. Mastery takes practice. Jonathan Fields talks about the “long game.” Srinivas Rao calls it “being too invested to quit.”
You will get where you want to be, eventually. But by then, you’ll likely want to be somewhere else.
So enjoy the ride, enjoy the journey, and allow everything to unfold in the way that it’s supposed to.
In the meantime, stop getting hung up on perfectionism and “just start.”
Like my friend Deb Walsh says, you teach what you need to know. #TRUTH.
I talk some more about “just starting” in this interview for Jodi Flynn’s Women Taking the Lead podcast.
I know you have a story.
I know you have a message.
And I know you have a voice.
It’s time to use that, as only you can.